Funny Quotes
If my critics saw me walking over the Thames they would say it was because I couldn`t swim.
We spend the first twelve months of our children`s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Faith is a wondrous thing; it is not only capable of moving mountains, but also of making you believe that a herring is a race horse.
You know that passage in the Bible that says, "And the meek shall inherit the Earth"? Always wondered if that was mistranslated. Perhaps it actually says, "And the geek shall inherit the Earth.".
How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn`t make it a leg.
Why is it when we talk to God, we`re praying, but when God talks to us, we`re schizophrenic?
Some morning while you`re eating breakfast and you need something new to think about, though, you might want to ponder the fact that you see your kids across the table not as they are but as they once were, about three nanoseconds ago.