Funny Quotes


The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

Doug Larson

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Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.

Doug Larson

My toughest fight was with my first wife.

Muhammad Ali

My relationship with death remains the same. I`m strongly against it.

Woody Allen

An optimist may see a light where there is none, but why must the pessimist always run to blow it out?

René Descartes

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone`s feelings unintentionally.

Oscar Wilde

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Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

Woody Allen

An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out.

George Jean Nathan

I don`t have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights.

George Carlin

Going to church doesn`t make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.

Laurence J. Peter

I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.

Margaret Thatcher

I didn`t fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.

Benjamin Franklin

I`m not anti-social. I`m just not social.

Woody Allen

The secret of realizing the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment of existence is: to live dangerously! Build your cities on the slopes of Vesuvius!

Friedrich Nietzsche

My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water.

Rodney Dangerfield


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