Funny Quotes

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Dogs look up to men, cats look down on them, but pigs just treat us as equals.

Winston Churchill

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If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

John Marwood Cleese

I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I`m gonna put pins into all the locations that I`ve traveled to. But first, I`m gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won`t fall down.

Mitchell Lee Hedberg

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn`t met me yet.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Never say never.

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

Herm Albright

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I know there's a proverb which that says 'To err is human,' but a human error is nothing to what a computer can do if it tries.

Agatha Christie

Life is the unknown and the unknowable, except that we are put into this world to eat, to stay alive as long as we possibly can.

Richard Bach

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

Albert Einstein

I don`t like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

Mark Twain

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Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.

Albert Einstein

The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.

Oscar Wilde

The point about zero is that we do not need to use it in the operation of daily life. No one goes out to buy zero fish.

Alfred North Whitehead

A hen is only an egg`s way of making another egg.

Samuel Butler

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

Albert Einstein

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