Rita Rudner

Plastic surgery must be like childbirth without the child... After a while, if you’re satisfied with the results, you forget the pain and want to do it again.

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can`t decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.