Rita Rudner

American author and comedian
17 September 1956 —

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Rita Rudner's books


My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.

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Plastic surgery must be like childbirth without the child... After a while, if you’re satisfied with the results, you forget the pain and want to do it again.

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can`t decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.


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