Erma Bombeck

American comedian
21 February 1927 — 22 April 1996

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When you look like your passport photo, it`s time to go home.

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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that`s what you`re looking for, go live with a car battery.

Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.

It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.

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