Bob Hope

When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things - not the great occasions - give off the greatest glow of happiness.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

You know you`re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don`t need it.

Drugs are very much on the scene in professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren`t penalized for being on grass.